Dreams, Desires and Divine Delays

Eight years at this time, I was asking God for something very specific. When it didn’t happen, I gave up praying about it. In the last eight years, I’ve rarely even thought about what I was so fervently praying for.

And then this morning, I asked again.

It didn’t take long to begin talking myself out of it though. After all, God just doesn’t work like that, I reminded myself.

But what if the desire I have really is from God? And what if it’s not my job to decide how or when God might choose to answer?

I started reading through the Bible chronologically a few weeks ago, so I’ve been in Genesis and Job. So far, no one gets what they desire right away. There’s always a delay. Sometimes, a very long one. Abraham was 100 and Sarah was 90 when she finally gave birth to the son God had promised them 25 years earlier.

Yeah, I don’t like delays any more than you do. When I want something, I mean really want something, I want it now. Not next year. Not in eight years. Certainly not in 25 years.

I don’t know what delayed dream or desire you have. Maybe it’s to get married. Or for your spouse to finally wake up.

Maybe you’ve been longing for a baby.

You might be looking for a job or a better job or a job that feels meaningful. Maybe your current job is fine, but you need a raise or more responsibility or some encouragement from your boss.

Maybe you’ve dreamed of seeing your family whole again, but your child continues in rebellion.

Or healing. You’ve endured 40 rounds of chemo or multiple surgeries or have seen more doctors than you can count…and yet there’s no end in sight.

I wish I knew when or if the answer to my prayer will come. I wish I could tell you that your answer is right around the corner. God usually doesn’t let us in on those things though.

So what are we to do? How do we keep believing? How do we keep pursuing our dreams and desires in the face of divine delays?

Let me suggest three things.

First, choose to believe God is good. Psalm 136:1 says, “Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good. His love endures forever.

Because our circumstances, our feelings and a thousand negative voices scream out that God is not good or loving, let me encourage you to meditate on that verse. Read it over and over and over. Think about it. Talk to God about it. Consider all the ways it’s true. And actually do it. Thank Him. Give thanks to Him for what you already have. Give thanks to Him for His goodness and love toward you.

Write that verse on a note card. Stick it on your mirror. Put a note in your phone and set a reminder to look at it. Do whatever you have to do to let it sink deep into your heart and mind. When difficult or confusing circumstances come, and they will, go back to that verse. It’s more true than anything you will experience or feel.

Second, during this season of divine delay, choose to delight yourself in the Lord. Psalm 37:4 says, “Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.

To delight in someone is to find your pleasure and enjoyment in that person. I delight in Robyn and my children and grandchildren. God wants me to delight in Him even more.

It won’t be easy, but try to focus on your relationship with Him, not the thing you’re desiring. A wife would naturally feel hurt if her husband only found enjoyment in sex, but not in the relationship with her. A father would be hurt if his children only wanted money from him and never cared about his feelings.

God is a person. He has feelings. He has desires. And His greatest desire is you and your relationship with Him.

Finally, trust God’s timing is best. Psalm 37:7a says, Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him…”

Being still. Imagine your mind being still. No anxious thoughts running around getting you worked up into an emotional frenzy. No freaking out when bad news comes…or another disappointing delay.

Imagine your soul being still. Feeling content. Knowing you have no power to make this thing happen on your own…and being okay with it.

We might not think so, but God’s timing is always perfect. We may be desiring one thing, but God has a better thing in mind He’s bringing about. Maybe God needs to work on our character before the fulfillment of our desire. Or maybe we’re ready, but others involved in the answer to our prayer aren’t. We cannot possibly imagine all the factors that go into God’s good plans for us.

Of course, there is an alternative to believing He is good, delighting in Him and trusting His timing. We can get angry, disillusioned and bitter.

But since I’ve already tried that, learn from me and don’t make that mistake.

How to Never Be Disappointed

Would you like to never feel disappointed again? To never feel the sadness that comes with unmet expectations? It’s simple.

Do nothing. Ask for nothing. And expect nothing.

Give up on your dreams. Take no risks. Make only small attempts.

Have no expectations of yourself. Set no goals. Make no plans.

Never express your needs to your spouse. Definitely not your wants.

Never pray. If you do, don’t ask for anything specific.

Don’t talk to strangers. Or ask a friend for help.

Learn to tolerate the job you hate.

Don’t think you have what it takes to start a business, form a non-profit or write a book.

Never seek adventure. Or try to make a difference.

Listen to anyone who tells you “it can’t be done” or “you’re not good enough.” Especially the negative voice in your head.

Fear failure. It guarantees you’ll attempt nothing great.

Just settle. For the life you have now. For the marriage you have now. For the influence you have now. For the financial situation you have now.

Get completely comfortable with the status quo.

It’s that simple.

 

 

 

 

 

Are You Agitated and Anxious?

It’s sunny, very windy and 80 degrees in Fayetteville, Arkansas today. But 7 years 8 months and 3 weeks ago, it was a different story. A severe ice storm had just hit. Trees were down and power was out all across Northwest Arkansas. Lots of trees were lost in that storm. Trees that did survive lost branches.

This morning, as I sat on our patio, I heard a loud rustling sound and then a tree branch fell on the driveway about fifteen feet from where I was sitting.

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It’s not uncommon to find branches like this after thunderstorms or just a strong wind like we have today. These branches are the result of the ice storm in January of 2009 when they broke off from the trunk and died. It’s inevitable they’ll crash to the ground. It’s just a matter of a time. All it takes is some agitation from the wind. And yet the same wind that agitates the dead branches has no effect on the healthy ones.

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In the moments leading up to His arrest, the gospel writers tell us Jesus was “troubled” and “overwhelmed with sorrow.” The same Greek word is used in both instances, it literally means:

to agitate, trouble a thing by the movement of its parts to and fro, to cause one inward commotion, take away calmness of mind, to disquiet, make restless, to strike one’s spirit with fear and dread, to render anxious or distressed

Do you ever feel that way?

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The A La Carte Christian Life

As Americans, or maybe it’s just as humans, we like choices. We enjoy going out to eat, opening the menu and getting to decide what we want to eat. We get to decide whether we want soup or a salad and what kind. We can choose a baked potato, french fries or no potato at all. We can have our steak rare, medium or well-done. And if we don’t like anything on the menu, the chef may even prepare something special just for us.

To order “a la carte,” literally means “according to the card/menu.” It’s our choice. Not the server’s. Not the chef’s. Not anyone’s choice, but ours.

There’s another type of meal service though. It’s called, “Table D’hote.” It literally means, “the host’s table.” In this type of dining, the menu is mostly planned and our food choices are limited. Essentially, we eat what’s put in front of us.

Table D’hote dining isn’t worse than a la carte, it’s just different. It’s really a matter of expectations. If I sit down to eat and expect to have the freedom to order whatever I want, then I may be very disappointed by the Table D’hote experience. If, on the other hand, I know what to expect and know the chef is the best in town, then I can enjoy the experience and even look forward to whatever surprises may be served.

I think one of the biggest mistakes I’ve made in life is thinking that the Christian life is similar to a la carte dining. Actually, it’s gotten me into a lot of trouble. It’s led to a lot of anger and disappointment. It’s caused me to become disillusioned and cynical.

It’s like I’ve sat down at the table, opened the menu and said, “I’ll have the large portion of peace and prosperity. And I’d like a side of pleasure. Bring me some meaning and significance, too. But leave off the pain and suffering. I’m allergic.”

It doesn’t work that way though. In Romans 8:14-17, it says:

For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.” The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.

So I’ve been adopted as God’s child. As a child, I’m also an heir. So far so good, right? Then Paul adds, “…if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.” Yeah, I don’t like the suffering part. But it’s the suffering that allows me to also share in His glory.

The Christian life is not a la carte. It’s Table D’hote. I’m sitting at “the host’s table.” So I don’t always get to choose what I want or don’t want. The host plans the meal.

And that means that along with the blessings and joys also comes pain and suffering. There will be wonderful highs and some devastating lows. At times we will be wondering why we got served a plate of lima beans when the person at the next table is enjoying a medium-rare ribeye, a loaded baked potato and char-grilled vegetables.

Now I’m not suggesting our choices don’t matter and everything has been predetermined by God. I believe our choices do matter. The point is simply this…we don’t get to enjoy God’s blessings without also enduring trials and difficulties. When we think we can pick what we want and pass on the hard stuff, it only leads to feeling angry and disappointed with God.

It’s far better to know the “Chef” not only delights in serving us delicious food, but also knows what’s nutritious for us. And sometimes that means accepting what He puts before us even if we don’t always like how it tastes.

Just Answer the Question

In John 5, Jesus asks a man who’s been lame for 38 years, “Would you like to get well?”

It’s a “yes” or “no” question. Either the man wants to be well or he doesn’t. But that’s not how he answers. He begins to explain to Jesus “why” he can’t be healed. That wasn’t the question though.

This had nothing to do with what the man could or couldn’t do. It had everything to do with what Jesus could do.

Your situation may feel as impossible as the man’s who’d been paralyzed for 38 years. Your finances may be a mess. Your marriage might be in even worse shape. Your health isn’t good. Things aren’t going well at work.

Could it be that Jesus is asking you the same question? “Would you like to get well?”

I wish I could say that would always result in immediate healing of whatever you’re facing. That might be the way Jesus will work, but what I’ve seen more often is God working slowly. As we trust Him and cooperate with Him by walking in His ways, we see things begin to change little by little.

Make no mistake about it though, it is God working in us, through us and for us to bring about the change.

In John 6, Jesus asks another very simple question. A large crowd of people has been following Him and so He turns to Philip and says, “Where can we buy bread to feed all these people?”

Remember taking essay tests in school? Those could be trickier than multiple choice, true-false or fill-in-the-blank questions. There was just a question and a blank page staring back at you. If you happened to study the information asked for in the question, then it wasn’t too bad. But sometimes you read the question and realized you had absolutely no idea how to answer it.

I think that’s where Philip was at. He was staring at a question and a blank page and knew he had nothing. Maybe the best thing Philip could have said was, “Good question, Jesus, I have no idea. What do you think we should do?”

But he doesn’t do that. Instead, he answers like the paralyzed man. Just like you and I would have.

“Even if we worked for months, we wouldn’t have enough money.”

Jesus didn’t ask if they had enough money. He asked where they could buy bread. Philip, like the lame man, was answering the wrong question. Jesus asked, “Where?” Philip jumped to their lack of resources.

What about you? Where do you jump to?

Could it be that God wants to make us well, but we’re still focused on what we can or can’t do?

Could it be that God has a way to meet our needs, but we’re still focused on what we’re not able to do?

We answer incorrectly when we have our eyes fixed on our circumstances. The paralyzed man said he couldn’t be healed because no one would help him into the water. Philip explained how they didn’t have enough money.

To answer correctly, we have to fix our eyes on Jesus. We have to listen well to the question…and realize the One asking the question is also the answer.